Tsunami in my head

I was on vacation for the past two weeks. Went to India, still there actually. My vacation ends tomorrow.

A lot of things have been discovered in this trip. It was a very enlightening experience in one way, though I would also consider it a major disaster at the same time.

When I left, I was upset with an issue, which caused me to remain in a mopey state of mind right until the stewardess brought me some bloody mary. God help me I love a bloody mary on an airplane.
Things were finally looking up until the plane landed.

I didn't mind the almost 20 minute walk of that horribly long corridor from the plane to the baggage area. I was amused how the doctors checked for the H1N1 here, by asking me if I have fever and dismissing me the minute I said no. Wow, what a complicated medical check-up. I bet we can train a two year old to do this check up too because hey, it still won't solve the problem of infesting our 'already infested' country with yet another disease, but at least with a baby giving you a medical check up you will have a good laugh.

What did piss me off was when I had to open my bags and answer a bunch of stupid questions because I had a DSLR and a videocamera on me. Apparently I am not allowed to carry more than 25000 rupees worth of stuff.
Hello?
Newsflash.

The jeans I wear, combined with the shirt, the shoes, the two rings on my fingers, the mp3 player in my pocket, and my cellphone...that itself is around 50k. Give me a break you pansy ass waste of flesh. Just because your monthly salary is equivalent to the price of my sunglasses doesn't mean you take out your hatred for your pitiful existence on me.

Regardless, they understood finally that I am too pissed and let me go. Though the damage was already done and my brain immediately listed out the points of why I detest this place.
People were first on my list.

Yea I know most of you are glaring at me when I say I hate this country, but no..no I don't. That's what I am trying to tell everyone. I don't hate this country, in fact, I love it. I adore it and still consider it a beautiful place to live in if all the people you see on the streets disappear.
I mean, when I heard that some marathi people sparked a big ruckus over not calling mumbai as Bombay... good god, these people should be found immediately, and not kept in jail..oh no no..that's too easy. They should be shot in the head as soon as they are spotted, and one bullet to the heart too just to err on the side of caution.

Jeez people, it is not a sin to call mumbai as bombay now and then. It is not shameful. We have been calling it bombay for decades, do you mean to tell me all those years are considered as shameful?
Its not like I hate marathi people...I actually "nothing" them, but I get a little peeved when they do something like "open their mouth and talk gibberish"

For godsakes, does it occur to you people that nearly half the people abroad don't know "mumbai". Hell, every time some cab driver in singapore asks me where I am from and I say mumbai he usually goes "huh?" and then I have to say bombay and he goes, "oh Bombay, lovely place"

Bombay, mumbai, madras, chennai, bangalore, bengalurugoogoowhatever...its the same damn thing. All the same damn thing.


Btw, the cynic in me came out in this trip and along with it, a torrent of sarcasm and sadism. I did realize however that I am a cynic. Actually to be specific I am a misanthrope. I looked it up. A misanthrope is one who generally hates people but still likes some folk from the human race. He hates the concept of "order and society" and this "human nature" of how certain things we have to abide and how we have to treat people in a specific way etc when its all bullshit considering the people who enforce these rules are gangbanging you out of your money and freedom. Still, a misanthrope can love, he can have friends, he can be your best bud.

Anyway, what the hell is going on with these sky walk thingies going around everywhere. It is a good idea, but they are overdoing it a bit. Too many in my opinion. Sure, majority of the people are poor enough to not afford cars, and I understand that. Plus its also a good way to stay healthy...but hey...that doesn't mean you take up the road that's meant for driving cars at vroom vroom speed.

On the positive note, food is good...as always. That statement is further reinforced by the extra 7 kilos that's registering on my weighing scale.
Yea, my weighing scale just started spinning like crazy when I stepped on it, and the pointer stopped on "GET OFF OF ME. TOO HEAVY TOO HEAVY!"

It probably would have helped my self esteem a little bit if I hadn't been munching on a muffin at the time I was weighing myself. Well, I pretty much assumed that the muffin was the heavier one. Still...scales have tipped to the point where I really have to be cautious....which kinda sucks.

College started last monday, and this is one of those moments when I wished I didn't take the "extended" vacation.
So, instead of waiting till next week to rant about this, lets just do it now..get it over with.

I have maya again...an animation this time, a 30 second clip. That's just...crazy talk. We haven't even taught rigging. It takes us ages to model our character and texture it. To rig it correctly, animate it...and use it in some story...which means there should be some background too...jeez. Thats just plain fricking nuts. Plus the professor is some canadian guy who, from what I have heard so far, is a pain in the ass.

Flash, this time have to make a game. That's what I am assuming. Don't have much more information than that so can't rant about it. Lucky readers.
Same goes for ARCS. I still don't know what's the full form for that, and I don't really care. Some report writing event hosting stuff I guess.

Programming. Yet another e-commerce website in PHP. But you know something. I am not afraid here. Because, I am going to break my head making a beautiful design, making a rough framework of the code...and then paying my junior to make the damn code work. Oh yeah.
...
the guy has done a bachelor's in IT. He loves this stuff. I am doing him a favor. Don't judge me. PHP is never going to have importance in my life.

And last but not least, video. Have to make a surreal experimental video this time, with hopefully a theme of my choosing but that's just too much wishful thinking.

All in all, 5 subjects.

I wonder which is the lesser of two evils here... to stay back here in the comfort of my home and whine about the people over and over...or to go there and challenge myself yet again to not get stressed enough that I start growing gray hairs.


One plus point though, I got a new laptop, after its own fair share of screwups. Regardless, this laptop is pretty ok, I can use it as a work laptop while I keep my old one strictly for downloads, chatting online, blogging, watching movies, listening to music, reading naughty comic books...oh yes, naughty comic books, they are hilarious and they turn me on at the same time...I have stopped getting paranoid of getting turned on by a cartoon.

Another plus point, well I guess it could be a plus or a minus depending on how you view it. I started having this inner monologue going in my head now and I can't seem to stop it. It just happens, like right now, I am feeling a little hot. I can actually hear my own voice in my head saying, "mmhmm, I am feeling a little hot. I wonder if I should get up and switch the fan on, or do the easier thing and shed my clothes off"
And of course this monologue is backed up with visuals too.
Its as if I drift off to an alternate reality where I shed my clothes off and stand in a superman pose and giving a nice colgate smile, and then I snap back to our reality.

It bothered me the first two or three days but then I sort of got used to it and eventually began to enjoy it. Specially because I started chopping people's heads with chainsaws, or making them stand at one spot near a tree and then speedily chopping the tree in a way that it falls on them.
The first of these visions happened when I was stuck in traffic... I just got out of my car, went ahead near the bumper of the car in front of me, cupped my hands together and as I did that there was lightning and thunder in the sky as I slowly started to glow and everything got silent and my words echoed with crystal clarity, "kaaaameeeehaaameeeehaaaaaaaa!"

And with that I shoved my palms forward, still cupped together, and a wave of plasma energy burst out vaporizing the car in front of me and the fifty others in that line, thus clearing the entire road.

I really enjoyed that.

I can't wait to go back to college. There is definitely going to be a moment where I turn into a hulk and pound someone to the ground. Ah, fantasies.

Btw, for those who didn't realize...that scream was from Dragonball Z...you should really watch some TV.


Finally, I have to leave tomorrow night. Yesterday I felt sad. Very upset. I spent the entire night looking at pictures of me with my family, right from babyhood to childhood to teenhood to adulthood.
I realized a lot of things. I love my family, and no matter what I do, parents will always make you feel a little guilty if you have been rude to them or mean to them. They won't say a word, and eventually their love for you will make you feel extremely guilty. I guess that's one of the perks of being a parent. Mm.


Also, I look horrible as a teen... my god, that is a horrible looking hairstyle. It looks soooo...neat. You can't have neat hair. Neat hair is extremely nerdlike. You just HAVE to have a little messy hair. What was I thinking.
And thank the lords I have a mustache, because I would never be taken seriously if I didn't. I look like one of the guys whom you can easily take advantage on. I can't make an angry stern face with no mustache, it would look funny rather than scary.

Jeez.

On a side note, I had 16 gulab jamuns. In my defense, they were very small and I don't get them in Singapore...well they don't taste the same there.


There is one last thing I wanted to discuss...something personal. But I am still in perpetual doubt over this issue...this one issue that has been nagging me ever since I left, and it can't be discussed here in detail as of yet.
All I can reveal is, so far I have gotten everything I ever wanted.
My parents gave everything to me, and in the certain cases they wouldn't, I cribbed and got up and got it myself. Either way, I have gotten everything, either from someone else or getting it myself.
So what do I do when I want something that my parents can't give and something that I tried my level best to get but still...still didn't receive it. How long will I keep trying before I am doomed to accept the fact that "you just can't get everything you want"


Yea, it had to end on this miserable note because all the frustration you saw was planned days ago, all the nice stuff you read was planned hours ago, and the tinge of sadness came minutes ago when a certain song came up on my playlist.


I just have one thing left to say... I came here for two weeks. I hated some days, I loved some days. And now, when the time is coming to go back...I can honestly say I wish I had more time here. Just a little bit more time. There is a couple of unfinished business that I wanted to deal with.
More importantly, there is a person I wanted to see, but didn't. The timings never matched and now I am not sure when I will get a chance to meet again. Next semester will be internship, so I will probably not be coming next vacation on account of running around for interviews.

The final conclusion is this... I came here upset, and I am leaving from here upset, of course, upset with 7 kilos added to my waistline but nonetheless...upset.

...
I completely forgot about the baby fantasies...oh well, a tale for another day.
Goodnight all.

Next post will be when I am back in Singapore.