Intoxicated

There are many states of existence in this world. You could be alive, dead, half dead, half alive, undead, asleep, conscious, semi-conscious, dreaming, dead but dreaming, bored etc etc..

Being drunk is one of those states.

Durnk issh tha states off durnking stoo muches alcoholol toos durinks and tehns loggins in on the interestenets to talk to ur girlyfriendly abouts eets.

Believe me, they may be angry with you for drinking, but for that moment while you are talking to them, or chatting, or msning(never msn when you are drunk), they are listening intently, and enjoying the conversation too.

Am just going to list down some ways to tell if a person is intoxicated. If you observe any of these pints(I mean points!!), please get them away from the keyboard and tuck them into bed, and if possible get in bed with them. They've obviously had a very long and very bad day and need loving and comforting.

Are you ready for it? Here's how you know..if you are really drunk.

1. Unbelievably long chats with friends consisting only of telling them how drunk you are

2. Unbelievably long chats with friends that aren't actually online.

3. Repeatedly telling your friends just how much love you have for them.

4. Hugging random inanimate objects.

5. Finding inanimate objects sexually attractive.

6. Dane cook's point : When you get into a taxi cab, and you think the fare is the time.

7. When you repeat over and over, "I am sooooo fucking drunk"

8. When you repeat over and over, "Normally I don't drink but..."

9. When you observe the toilet bowl for extended periods of time.

9. When you reach the 9th point and giggle because you think the writer is talking about you.

11. When you don't realize that there is no 10th point. Of course, in this one you could be high on drugs too.

12. When you make up odd philosophies of life using salt and pepper..in a restaurant. (Go see : My first time for more details... I just re-read that post. I urge you all to check that out once you finish with this. Its worth it :P)

....

I was going to sit and explain more stuff, what to do when you are drunk, how to get rid of the intoxication, how to stay intoxicated and not pass out etc...


Have lost my mood to write. Something just came up. I wonder if there is a happiness meter or something in my room...whenever I reach the state of being "somewhat happy", one email or one sms arrives and drags that meter back to zero.

Bah! And this was supposed to be a FUNNY post.