LIVE! From Singapore

Well technically I am writing this while on the plane, but considering that this shall be posted long after I reach Singapore, figured this above title is more appropriate. Finally am on my way. The only thing that can stop me now is if my plane decides to crash or something. I sincerely hope that doesn’t happen. Specially if we crash land on some little deserted island… I just know that after all the food is gone, the crowd will all gang up on me and enjoy a tasty fried Hershey. Don’t want none of that. By the way, if in case we all crash, you can bet your ass that when everyone goes to sleep I will kill em all one by one… more food for me you know. After all, I am no team player. And there are a lot of gujjus on this flight…food is the least of my worries. I can smell theplas all over the plane.

Anyway, lets rewind back to the beginning of today(err..yesterday now). Tried on my first boxers. That was an amusing experience. Suddenly I got all this extra space in the nether region…quite breezy there too. I know why men prefer boxers now. Plus, there is plenty of room for ahhh..for certain organs to grow without being constricted by some silly fabric.

Psst…the first two paragraphs were written in the plane, everything henceforth is written within the span of 8 days. And yea, it’s a long post, so I have split it into many parts. Ok, glad that is cleared up. Lets talk about the flight again.

They didn’t check my baggage weight at all. That is a bit sad because, had I known they were going to ignore it, I would have carried a lot more stuff. Immigration check was fun. There was this woman holding around 2 big bags in each hand, and a small one wrapped around her neck. Her kid was right next to one of those big bags, sitting on the floor playing his videogame. Finally, the woman filled up her immigration form, went to the authorities, got her approval stamp, and told her boy to come on into the waiting area.

The kid got up, and just ran…outside... towards the main entrance of the airport. We were all stunned, so was the mother, for a few seconds before she clutched her bags tight and made a road runner style exit screaming at the top of her lungs, “MAX! MAX! GET YOUR BUTT BACK HERE THIS INSTANT YOUNG MAN!”

I swear to god, the only reason this kid would behave this way is that the parents don’t train him properly. At least, that’s true for most scenarios. White people should really beat their kids(for more info on this tidbit, watch Russell peters , go search on youtube)

Anyway, my immigration went smoothly and I proceeded forward for the carry baggage check. There was “funny moment #2”. There was this black pilot and his team coming towards all of us, the pilot reminded me of Eddie Murphy for some reason. Probably because he scared the crap out of everyone there. I bet good money that every single person there was just wishing, “god I hope he isn’t piloting my flight”. The man was hopping…actually hopping ok. He hopped, pranced a little, and then did a 360 degree turn on reaching that metal detector thingy. All through that time he went “haahaaaaaaa”. I think it was his first time as a pilot. Fortunately, he wasn’t my pilot. Phew! I breathe again.

Then my assclown of a roommate arrived and spoiled my mood again. Note to remember, I will be referring to my roommate in as many colorful, distasteful words as possible. This will be probably one of the few rare moments where I get completely vulgar. I hate him. I despise him. I wouldn’t even shoot him, shooting is too quick… rather do the Friday the 13th thing and go hacking away at him with a big machete. Or just push him out the balcony with a bungee cord tied to him thats a bit too long, or drown him in the kitchen sink. I hate him to the point that I wish lightning strikes him a 1000 times, to make sure his ashes get totally vaporized. Stupid dumbass piece of crap.
Anyway, more on the roomie later.

The flight was a bit long and I was getting quite restless. Thankfully I didn’t share a seat with my roommate else we would have crashed the plane. Nope, there was this cute girl sitting in the seat A. I was in seat C. I figured things are finally looking up.

So I introduced myself, and pretended this is my first time flying to Singapore. I could tell she had been there before. How? Well, the merlion tshirt was a dead giveaway you know. Introductions were made, and I was happy. This may be a pleasant flight after all. You ever been in a situation where you think things are finally looking up and suddenly everything becomes dark. This is why you must never think or say anything positive. Because fate will just go, “nuh..uh, that ain’t happening”.

Guess who was in seat B. Oh no, not her boyfriend, or husband. It was her father. The guy looked like a military general. The next 4 hours of my flight went with my attention totally focused on my laptop. I didn’t even get up to pee. Disturbing this man would not be the best idea. Its ok, I am a big boy, I could hold on for a while.

They did their usual boring mime act with the seatbelts and exits. The food was pretty decent too. Not too filling, but hey, at least you can drink a bit on the plane. Personally I find the idea absolutely stupid. As it is alcohol was not meant for consumption in large quantities, but now, alcohol at 30000 feet… intoxication and extremely high air pressure… very bad combination. Can knock an elephant out… Or in my case, the military dad.

Unfortunately, the flight was just about to land in an hour, and the sun had come up. This was a classic photo opportunity. Pity, the girl was completely ignored for a while. Face it, if I were to prioritize, this girl will probably stay with me till the end of the trip. Pics are more important. Took some great snaps, and showed it to her later. Then I saw the mangal sutra she was wearing. People should really just wear wedding rings. Or at least keep the mangal sutra out so people KNOW you are married. Sheesh.
Here are the pics I took. Pretty good snaps.















Landed in Singapore finally, went through the immigration there, picked up my luggage, and off I go to the college. With an annoying burden accompanying me.
Guess this is enough as a start. Talk more soon. Ciao.